Want to feel better after your stroke – look between your legs!
No, I am not kidding and I am not being lude. It’s just crazy that focusing on sex often seems so embarrassing and so not done after stroke. But sex, as I wrote in my book, Stroke Victor, “intimacy and sex are part of humanity, a very important part. They are basic needs of humans through the ages. Without sex, none of us would exist”. Then why the skittishness about sex?
So having suffered a stroke, you may say, no I can’t or no I won’t or “give me a break, I don’t feel up to it today”. In answer to you, I will answer – don’t go there! Just don’t. But stay with me on this post.
This site is about hope, all about hope and the lessons learned from the “pits of stroke” and providing readers with input from professionals in the medical community.
So, let us help you since we have been there – “we have walked the walk” and do so to this very day. That said, we are about doing the things that will transform your life from sadness and possibly depression to one in which you and your caregiver partner engage the “New Me” and the “New Us”. And sex and intimacy are part of the transformation.
Yes, hope is great, but you need to graduate from hope to execution. And I understand that with sex and intimacy it can be embarrassing, and it can be awkward, and it can be nerve racking even with your spouse or partner after a stroke. It’s perfectly normal to be insecure about it because you may be feeling inadequate and unsure of yourself, and embarrassed to discuss it. Or because of your disabilities, you are feeling inadequate because you know you can’t perform as you had in the past, men and woman alike.
Yes, you may feel that you can’t perform like you used to. That’s perfectly natural, and truthfully, many of us can’t. But don’t dwell on it – s… happens, so get over it!
I, WE LEARNED – TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO, NOT WHAT YOU CAN’T! And I guarantee you that if you come at this with an open mind and a willingness to try, you and your partner can do something. And something is better than nothing.
And, the first lesson is very importantly, to start slow, and go one step at a time.
In another post, we will continue our discussion regarding the best way to feel better after a stroke.